


i can't (control my emotions)

by artisteu



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-05-27 11:20:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15023444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisteu/pseuds/artisteu
Summary: jihoon isn’t the biggest fan of pda, everybody knows that.it has never been a problem, none of his friends have ever really minded - on the contrary, jihoon snorts, they love it. they always use it against him and tease him with it by being extra touchy whenever they’re on campus or spending time together outside - that is, however, until ong seongwoo came into his life.





	i can't (control my emotions)

**Author's Note:**

> **prompt: #137**
> 
> jihoon, who is usually shy and reserved with pda, kisses seongwoo, who is usually the bold one, in a public place and leaves him blushing and flustered

jihoon isn’t the biggest fan of pda, everybody knows that. 

he avoids any kind of body contact from his friends almost on autopilot, grimacing and playfully pushing them away (when it comes to woojin, though, he outrightly kicks or pushes him away with the most put-upon and disgusted face just to see his best friend flail and get red). 

it’s not necessarily because he hates skinship in general, not at all. 

all of his friends know how much of a clingy bitch he can be, hugging them 24/7 when they’re hanging out together in one of their apartments or plopping down next to them and asking for cuddles with his best pout and whine. 

but there’s something about doing it in public that makes jihoon flush all over and feel embarrassed even from thinking about it. 

it has never been a problem, none of his friends have ever really minded - on the contrary, jihoon snorts, they love it. they always use it against him and tease him with it by being extra touchy whenever they’re on campus or spending time together outside - that is, however, until ong seongwoo came into his life. 

◀◀ 

woojin busts through jihoon’s door without a warning, mischief twinkling in his eyes, and before jihoon can protest, woojin is throwing a pair of black jeans and a loose shirt to his face. 

“what the fuck?” he hisses, glaring at him. 

“come on, buddy, get ready, we are going out,” woojin just smiles and winks. “kang daniel from my department is having a party today and we are going!” 

jihoon wants to retaliate or whine his way out of having to go but it’s useless, woojin is already out the door before he can say anything. he glances at his clothes and then, with the loudest grunt, he gets up, groaning when his bones make weird noises they definitely shouldn’t be doing. 

it doesn’t take long for him to be ready and waiting for woojin in the living room - if jihoon is honest, he is in no mood to party, not when it’s the middle of the semester and he is already head deep in assignments and learning for his upcoming finals and well, he also knows woojin is probably only dragging him there because he needs someone to take care of his drunk ass. 

“let’s go!” woojin shouts when he sees jihoon is out the door of his bedroom. 

“are you trying to impress someone or why are you dressed in your tightest pair of pants?” jihoon smirks. 

“oh no, i’m just going today because i’m an amazingly nice person and won’t let you rot in your room for another few days,” woojin retorts with the sweetest of smiles. jihoon wants to punch him. “you need a break anyway and what better break than a party, right?” 

jihoon rolls his eyes and follows woojin out of their apartment. 

  
  


as soon as they come into daniel’s apartment - which surprisingly, was in a pretty chill neighbourhood - woojin ditches him and goes straight onto the dance floor, yelling “see you later, bro” as a form of goodbye. 

in true college boy nature, jihoon decides to find the kitchen. 

after roaming around the house - and discovering a balcony at the other end of the dancing (read: grinding) crowd in the living room - jihoon finally finds it. 

there are not many people in there, just a few getting refills before heading out again and jihoon thanks all of his lucky stars. he takes his time to decide on what to drink, looking curiously at all the different bottles lined up on the kitchen counter, before he grabs a simple can of beer, knowing that if he drinks more than that he’d probably not be able to drag woojin home later. 

he winces when he takes the first sip, still not too used to the beer’s bitter taste, even after months of drinking it. 

jihoon, after fighting his way through the mass of people in the living room and declining some offers of drunk girls and boys alike to dance together, breathes a sigh of relief when he finally makes it to the balcony, gingerly opening the door and then sliding it close behind him. 

“oh,” someone exclaims behind him and he can’t help but flinch. “hey there!” 

he isn’t too sure what - or who - he was expecting to see standing behind him but it sure as heck was not ong seongwoo grinning at him while leaning on the railing and holding a cigarette. 

jihoon knew seongwoo but really, who didn’t when he was always the talk of campus, everybody whispering about his latest performances or gushing about his handsome looks (and maybe, just maybe, jihoon had been harbouring the tiniest crush on him ever since seongwoo had been woojin and his college guide on their first day). 

“fancy seeing you here,” seongwoo says, smirk on his face. 

he, without a real reason, blushes. his cheeks become a prominent shade of red and he isn’t even able to look at seongwoo directly in the eyes. 

“yeah, fancy,” jihoon echoes. 

jihoon looks around the little balcony and then sits down on the floor since there are no seats, the balcony being almost bare and its only decoration being a floor mat with a kitten drawn on it. 

seongwoo doesn’t try to talk to him more than that for a while - jihoon quietly observes him smoking, looks at his defined jawline, at the pretty slope of his nose, looks at seongwoo’s lips that are wrapped around his cigarette and then looks at his pale and slender fingers, wondering how a human as beautiful as him can exist. 

when jihoon least expects it, seongwoo turns around, catching him staring. 

he clears his throat and diverts his eyes. pretends to look at the sky as he nervously fidgets with the beer can in his hands. 

“you’re a dance major like daniel, aren’t you?” seongwoo suddenly speaks up, his cigarette suddenly gone as he walks towards jihoon and sits down, closer than really necessary. “i think i’ve seen you around campus.” 

jihoon smiles but doesn’t look seongwoo in the eyes, of course seongwoo didn’t remember him. 

“uh, yeah, i am,” jihoon answers. “i’m in my second year now.” 

seongwoo hums, as if considering jihoon’s answer. he doesn’t say anything again and jihoon, since he can’t think of anything else to talk about, stays quiet, too. 

“do you see that?” seongwoo points at the sky. 

jihoon tries to follow his finger to look at what seongwoo wants to show him but he can’t see more than a few stars randomly scattered across the night sky. 

“i - i don’t see anything,” he stutters, turning to face seongwoo. 

seongwoo turns to face him too and this time, unlike the smirk that was on his lips before, he is now sporting a soft, bright smile, eyes twinkling cutely as he places a hand on jihoon’s nape. 

he gently guides jihoon’s head so that he is looking up at the sky again. 

“look, right there,” seongwoo whispers into his ear, making him shiver. “it’s the big dipper - the famous constellation!” 

jihoon squints and squints until he finally sees something that resembles what he remembers the big dipper to look like from his physics classes. 

“oh, wow,” he breathes out. 

“it’s really pretty, isn’t it?” seongwoo laughs - jihoon is in awe at how soft and sweet the sound sounds in his ear, he immediately wants to listen to it again. 

“yeah, really pretty,” jihoon side-eyes seongwoo and licks his lips. “just like you.” 

“smooth,” seongwoo points out, he sounds calm and composed, when jihoon faces him, however, he can make out his now pink cheeks and red ears. it’s adorable. “wasn’t expecting that.” 

jihoon giggles and takes another sip of his beer, trying not to let seongwoo show that he is feeling just as flustered by his own words. 

after that, seongwoo manages to strike up a conversation about a variety of different topics - dancing, acting, his incompetence in games, his weird obsession with midnight snacks - successfully diffusing the awkward atmosphere that had dawned upon them for a few minutes. 

the more they talk, the more comfortable jihoon gets. 

  


he even asks seongwoo if he can use his shoulder as a pillow when the alcohol hits him full force and he feels a bit sleepy. 

seongwoo doesn’t protest and pats it, gesturing for him to do as he pleases. 

he blinks a few times, staring at seongwoo’s shoulder in awe because seongwoo had accepted. 

  


seongwoo laughs when he sees jihoon’s face and wraps his arm around jihoon’s own shoulder, smoothly guiding jihoon’s head so that it’s resting on it. 

“is it comfortable?” seongwoo asks. 

“a bit bony,” jihoon teases, making seongwoo giggle. “but it’s good, i like it!” 

“that’s a relief, then,” seongwoo answers. 

he lets his hand wander up jihoon’s head and jihoon - although he is not normally a fan of strangers, or well, people he barely knows touching his hair - melts into the touch, humming happily as seongwoo starts to ramble, out of nowhere, about the constellations he can pinpoint on the sky. 

jihoon lets himself relax and starts talking back, asking questions about how seongwoo knows all of this when he is a theatre major, asking more questions about the sky and astrology and telling seongwoo how he has always been kind of a noob at it. 

they’re in the middle of discussing the traits of a gemini - because jihoon is a gemini and he has always wondered why everyone hates them - when the door to the balcony slides open. 

“seongwoo hyung!” jihoon looks up from seongwoo’s shoulder only to come face to face with kim jaehwan, an applied music major he recognizes from having seen around campus a few times. “i can’t find daniel and i really need someone to help me carry jisung to bed, he played beer pong and lost terribly to sungwoon.” 

“i’ll be right there, give me second,” seongwoo smiles and jaehwan leaves with a nod. 

jihoon sobers up immediately at that, awkwardly pulling away from seongwoo and coughing. seongwoo turns towards him with the cutest smile as he proceeds to point at jihoon’s cheeks. 

“you’re blushing,” he exclaims happily. 

“i - i tend to get red easily, more so when i drink!” jihoon stutters, looking away. 

seongwoo laughs, gets up from where he is sitting and then squats right in front of jihoon, smile still on his lips. 

“can you get home on your own? you did drink one can of beer after all,” seongwoo smirks. 

“stop it,” jihoon pouts, his blush probably increasing in intensity. “i can go home just fine! i’ll find woojin and then head out, so don’t worry about it.” 

“okay,” seongwoo agrees. 

he stares at jihoon for a while more. 

when jihoon looks back at seongwoo, accidentally making eye contact, his heart can’t help but start to speed up in his chest. 

seongwoo looks at him with fondness, probably a bit too much of it for it to only have been their first official meeting, looks at him as if he had discovered something precious tonight, eyes twinkling beautifully. 

“i had fun tonight,” seongwoo chuckles, ducking his head and scratching his neck, a sign of shyness jihoon hadn’t expected. it’s weirdly endearing. “maybe we can see each other again?” 

his heart stops beating for a moment, too in shock at seongwoo asking him out before it starts to beat again at a much faster pace than before. 

jihoon agrees with a quietly mumbled “sure” when he finally gets a grip. 

seongwoo’s answering smile gets even brighter and cuter than it already was and jihoon wants to scream and ask the world how it could possibly create such a breathtaking and wonderful human being. 

“give me your phone, please,” seongwoo makes grabby hands with a laugh. 

jihoon’s eyes widen and he pats his pockets until he finds his phone. he unlocks it and then hands it over to seongwoo, curiously watching as seongwoo types in his number and then saves himself in jihoon’s contacts - ong ♡ - before calling himself so that he has jihoon’s number too. 

“i’m going now, then,” seongwoo sighs. 

“i guess so,” jihoon nods, not knowing what to say. 

“goodbye, jihoon,” seongwoo waves at him. 

before he gets up and leaves though, he darts forward and kisses jihoon’s cheeks, a satisfied grin on his face as he stands up and walks off, leaving jihoon staring at the night sky while quietly giggling. 

▶▶ 

jihoon recalls how nervous he had felt the two days after the party. 

he had whined to woojin and guanlin about not knowing what to do - should he call or text? should he wait? would seongwoo even want jihoon to contact him (“he gave you his number, jihoon, that has to mean something!”)? would seongwoo contact him if jihoon waited for too long? 

it turned out that all his worries had been groundless because seongwoo had texted him in the middle of his philosophy lecture, a simple “hey! i’m free on friday, want to get coffee with me?”. 

jihoon had replied with a “yes!” and seongwoo had texted him a few emojis, showing his excitement, before writing “it’s a date!” and making jihoon blush in public. 

◀◀ 

“you are going to be late if you don’t go now,” woojin warns him as he passes by their bathroom with a bowl of popcorn in his hand. “besides, no matter how long you spend styling your hair, it won’t make your ugly face any prettier.” 

“oh, fuck you,” jihoon hollers back, ruffling his blond hair to make it look a bit messier and adjusting his specs. 

“you wish, babe,” woojin retorts and jihoon clenches his eyes. one day he will end up punching the living daylights out of his best friend, he knows. “now let me look at your outfit, check if it’s okay.” 

jihoon walks out to the living room and stands in front of woojin, nervously fidgeting as woojin scans him up and down with a serious face. 

“you look good,” woojin smiles and jihoon sighs out of relief. “he will fall in love with you in an instant!” 

“great,” jihoon woops as he rushes to get his backpack and his keys. “see you later, loser!” 

  
  


when he arrives at the location that seongwoo had sent him earlier that day through text, jihoon discovers that it’s a cute tiny café, just like seongwoo had described it. 

before he steps into it, he bounces on his heels, inhales deeply and then lets it out, shaking his hands and feet to try and make himself feel less nervous - something about thinking that this is a date, with ong seongwoo nonetheless, is making his heart hammer against his chest. 

as soon as he actually enters though, his nervousness seems to fade away. 

jihoon spots seongwoo sitting on the far corner of the room, hunched over a book as he frowns, biting his lips as he scrunches his nose. he is wearing an oversized black hoodie and specs, dressed almost exactly like jihoon, and something about the sight is so cute that jihoon wants to coo at him. 

he walks towards seongwoo with his head low, trying not to burn up bright red, and then waves a hand in front of seongwoo’s face when the older boy doesn’t notice him. 

“oh, hey!” seongwoo grins, eyes turning into crescent moons. “you’re finally here! i thought i’d have to look at my script for another few hours before you’d turn up, was honestly kind of scared.” 

“i’m sorry, i - i got a bit hold up,” jihoon laughs and sits down. 

“it’s okay, i was joking around,” seongwoo smiles. “nice glasses by the way, they seem very familiar.” 

“thank you,” jihoon snorts. 

“is this our first matching item? are we a couple now?” seongwoo wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and jihoon can’t help but laugh. 

“slow down, cowboy,” he replies. “who says i’d even agree to being your boyfriend?” 

“oh, baby, we both know nobody can resist me,” seongwoo answers playfully. “have you seen me? i’m a whole package. tall, smart and incredibly hilarious!” 

“sure, whatever makes you sleep at night,” jihoon giggles, bringing up his sweater-clad hands to hide his smile. “have you ordered anything to drink yet?” 

“nope,” seongwoo smiles. “i was waiting for you!” 

“wow, what a good boy,” jihoon cackles at how seongwoo’s eyes widen and at how he blushes. 

“i think i like tipsy jihoon more,” seongwoo fake-sighs with a pout. “you used to be so shy, how could you change so much in the span of a week?” 

“oh my, what a shame, tipsy jihoon is never coming back though,” he laughs. 

“he shall be missed, he was the cutest boy i had seen in quite a while,” seongwoo puts a hand on his chest and acts mock-hurt. “made my heart go badum-badum for him, you know?” 

jihoon’s ears turn bright red at seongwoo’s words. 

he doesn’t know what to reply to that so he clears his throat and asks seongwoo what he wants to drink. seongwoo doesn’t tell him, just asks for jihoon’s choice of drink instead and then goes to the counter, ordering with a polite smile. 

when he comes back, he hands jihoon his drink and grins in satisfaction when jihoon hums happily at how good it is. 

“this place is really nice,” jihoon points out ere he takes another sip of his coffee. 

“it is,” seongwoo nods in agreement. “i come here often actually. it’s near campus, cheap and mostly empty whenever i come, it’s a good place to study or… hang out, i guess.” 

“it does seem like it, yes,” jihoon agrees. “my usual café seems pretty basic now.” 

“what is your usual café?” seongwoo raises his eyebrows, curiosity written all over his face. 

“starbucks,” jihoon giggles. 

seongwoo snorts and rolls his eyes, mumbling about the new generation and their inclination to buy overpriced coffee. jihoon quips back that seongwoo is only a few years older and seongwoo rolls his eyes at that. 

after drinking a bit of his coffee, seongwoo begins to ask jihoon questions (“what are your hobbies?”, “do you watch marvel movies?”, “what’s your favourite dancing style?” and “what do you look for in a relationship?”) and jihoon asks some back, happy about how easy it is to talk to seongwoo. 

none of their conversations or interactions feel forced. everything flows so naturally between them, the both of them bickering and saying jokes without overstepping any boundaries as they slowly get to know each other. 

ere jihoon notices, three hours have gone by and woojin is insistently texting him whether he’ll be home for dinner or not. 

“so…,” seongwoo nervously licks his lips. “i don’t know about you but i’d really… like to have another date? we could watch a movie or something, or maybe you can teach me how to not suck at league of legends or battlefield?” 

jihoon pretends to contemplate his suggestion for a while but then nods. 

“i’ll make sure to teach you the basics and that nobody can win over you unless they have years of experience,” jihoon replies. “you can come by… on sunday?” 

“sounds like a plan,” seongwoo grins. 

the both of them pack up their things and get up, walking side by side and leaving the café only to stop right by the door. 

“i have to go this way,” jihoon points to the right. 

“ah, i have to go the other way,” seongwoo frowns. “truly sad, i wanted to spend a little bit more time with you.” 

jihoon flushes at that and gently hits seongwoo’s arm. seongwoo pretends to be badly hurt but then catches jihoon’s hand just as he is about to completely pull it away. 

he smiles shyly and intertwines their fingers. 

the both of them erupt in giddy laugher and jihoon’s heart does a whole summersault in his chest at the sight of seongwoo and his hands together, at the sight of seongwoo being just as happy about it, his cute gummy smile making an appearance. 

“i’ll see you on sunday,” seongwoo says, voice lowered as he looks at jihoon through his eyelashes and squeezes his hand. 

“yeah,” jihoon smiles, squeezes back. “see you on sunday.” 

seongwoo lets go of their hands as the both of them take a few steps back. he waves at jihoon before breaking eye contact and turning around. 

jihoon turns around, too, a happy smile on his face. 

▶▶ 

after that everything had sailed smoothly. 

seongwoo had come over to jihoon and woojin’s apartment and jihoon had taught him some basic skills, his frustration at seongwoo’s admittedly bad playing going away as soon as he saw seongwoo’s tongue sticking out and him playing with the cutest concentrated expression on his face. 

then, seongwoo had cooked them dinner and they had watched a movie, seongwoo making the first move to cuddle by pulling jihoon closer to him and letting him snuggle to his side. 

they had various other dates, 12 to be exact, until seongwoo had finally popped the question, asking jihoon if he wanted to be his boyfriend. 

jihoon, to this day, laughs every time he remembers how nervous seongwoo was - his hands trembling and his leg jiggling up and down while he couldn’t even look at jihoon in the eyes - even though back then jihoon was as smitten and whipped as he is now. 

◀◀ 

“so…,” seongwoo coughs and successfully catches jihoon’s attention. “i wanted to ask you something.” 

“go ahead,” jihoon smiles. 

he sits up straighter on the couch, turning to face seongwoo, and holding his hand when he sees how much seongwoo’s are actually quivering. 

for a moment, he suspects something is wrong. 

maybe seongwoo had failed the final he had studied so hard for or maybe it was something regarding him? maybe seongwoo wants to be only friends, maybe jihoon isn’t making him feel comfortable, maybe he - 

“i know you’re probably not expecting this,” seongwoo nervously swipes his tongue over his lips. “i’ve been waiting so long to ask you this, mostly because i thought you’d need some time to properly answer this question - oh, and i want you to know that it’s totally fine to say no to what i’m going to ask you, okay? don’t feel forced just because you think i’m nice or something, okay?” 

“get to the point seongwoo,” jihoon laughs nervously. 

  


“uhm, so… well, park jihoon,” seongwoo starts. 

“park jihoon? that sounds like something bad is going to follow,” jihoon says, trying to brighten up the rather tense atmosphere. 

“shut up and let me finish,” seongwoo frowns. “park jihoon, will you be my official boyfriend?” 

jihoon starts to gape at seongwoo without really noticing, too shell-shocked at the sudden question. he had hoped for it to come soon but after their tenth date he had basically given up, thought that it would probably take another year for seongwoo to ask him. 

“you’re not kidding, are you?” jihoon squints suspiciously. 

“of course not, oh my god, why would i joke about something like this?” seongwoo pouts, frown deepening. “just let me down gently, will you? buy me a pint of ice cream to cry over, too.” 

“you idiot,” jihoon slaps seongwoo’s forehead, making him squeal loudly. “of course, i want to be your boyfriend!” 

“why would you hit me then?” seongwoo whines. “this was supposed to be romantic but you ended up almost breaking my skull!” 

“don’t be dramatic,” jihoon quips and climbs onto seongwoo’s lap. “kiss me, you dumbass.” 

“is this going to be a thing now?” seongwoo asks, putting a hand on jihoon’s waist and cupping one of jihoon’s cheeks with the other. “are you going to insult me every day now? because i didn’t sign up for that, i signed up for love and appreciation!” 

“i’m going to keep calling you dumb,” jihoon laughs. “but i’ll make it sound nicer by calling you my dumb.” 

seongwoo rolls his eyes and giggles but then leans in nonetheless, his soft lips meeting jihoon’s own in a kiss. 

they’ve kissed before - plenty of times, actually - but this feels different, feels a little bit more intimate, more meaningful. jihoon can feel himself getting addicted to it, addicted to how good seongwoo’s lips feel on his, addicted to how seongwoo pulls him in closer by his shirt and seems as if he doesn’t want to ever let go of him. 

when they separate, the both of them with matching love-sick smiles, their foreheads leaning against each other, seongwoo pecks him on the lips once again quickly before laughing happily. 

“i’d be honoured to be your dumbass,” seongwoo whispers. 

jihoon snorts, fondness, happiness and a feeling that feels like something jihoon could soon define as love washing over him. 

▶▶ 

with time, after the initial phase of happiness and excitement had dwindled down, after they had kissed and hugged and cuddled for at least a thousand times, jihoon remembers how scared he had been, so scared of them growing apart due to college and part-time jobs. 

seongwoo, however, had been as optimistic as ever, suggesting weekly date nights and making a routine for themselves. 

it had worked like magic then and even now too. 

on fridays, they alternate to pick an activity or place to visit. 

seongwoo tends to bring jihoon out for yummy food, driving him to different regions of the country with his mother’s car, music blasting through the speakers, to try out the most popular restaurants or the trendiest food. 

jihoon, on the other hand, always picks the more active courses - escape rooms, amusement parks (he still giggles every time he is reminded of seongwoo’s desperate screams during the scarier roller coasters during their dates), laser tag, inside trampolines halls, etc., etc. 

and well, jihoon can’t really complain, not then and not now, because seongwoo makes him so incredibly happy. 

seongwoo truly does. 

he makes him laugh whenever he can, even if it’s at his own expense, cheers jihoon up with his favourite food even if it’s in the middle of the night, always listens to his rants when he is stressed or when he finds a new game and needs to let it out, even listens when jihoon is so upset or angry or distracted that all that comes out of his mouth is a mess of random words with no correlation whatsoever. 

seongwoo, as if all that wasn’t enough, is also the best cuddler jihoon knows. 

he pulls him close and lets jihoon cling onto him, rakes his fingers to jihoon’s hair and hums his current favourite songs under his breath, too, which makes it easy for jihoon to relax in his arms and burrow into his warmth. 

but, of course, things aren’t always just good. 

they fight, not a lot, but they do and when they do it can get pretty ugly. not in the “throwing things and endless yelling” ugly but in the “days of silent treatment and cold shoulder” ugly. 

jihoon loses his temper often and easily. 

seongwoo, well, he is more sensitive than he lets on, always bottles his feelings up and takes every word someone (jihoon) says to him to heart. 

both of them are always too proud to take the first step and apologize. 

sometimes they fight over stupid things like seongwoo leaving his clothes or stuff lying around on jihoon’s living room even though woojin can see them or seongwoo cancelling date nights to spend time with daniel and jaehwan when he can do that on literally any other day or sometimes they fight because jihoon forgets to text seongwoo that he can’t make it to lunch, thus letting seongwoo wait for a long period before he has to call and make sure nothing bad happened to jihoon. 

sometimes, however, they also fight over serious things. 

◀◀ 

  


jihoon is worried sick. 

he had talked to woojin about it, had asked for advice but had only gotten a “seongwoo is old enough to know what he is doing” as a response and, to say the least, it really is not what he wanted to hear. 

“why are you sulking?” jinyoung asks as he sits down next to him. 

“nothing,” jihoon takes another passive-aggressive bite of his burger and then proceeds to stuff his mouth full with fries. “i am thinking, not sulking.” 

“please don’t talk with your mouth full,” daehwi says with the most put-upon face. 

“whatever,” he grumbles. 

daehwi and jinyoung start to exchange greetings, pecking each other softly and jihoon wants to gag - not because it’s disgusting how overly in love they are with each other, no, he wants to gag because he is so utterly jealous that they have the time to do that. 

“okay, something is definitely up,” jinyoung sighs when jihoon glares at daehwi and him for a tad bit too long. “please spill before i make you spill.” 

“what are you and your tiny fists going to do? punch the answers out of me?” jihoon laughs sarcastically. 

“no, but i definitely have some blackmail material on you,” daehwi joins in, wrapping an arm around jinyoung’s shoulder. “remember when you got completely shit-faced two months ago and proceeded to impromptu make a love song for seongwoo hyung? yeah? guess who has a video of it and will definitely not hesitate to show it to seongwoo.” 

jihoon wishes he could wipe away the smug smirk on daehwi’s face away but alas, daehwi is a demon and jihoon has nothing to counterattack with. 

“i hate you,” he mutters before sighing. “seongwoo is really busy nowadays and i’m worried.” 

“you? worried about something that is not food? what a surprise,” jihoon is about to hit jinyoung’s arm for being a brat but thankfully daehwi does it for him. 

“anyway, he has been working really hard for this super important assignment he has and well, let’s just say he has not been eating or sleeping well,” jihoon takes another big bite of his burger. “his dark circles are getting bigger and bigger, it’s a miracle if i find him sleeping next to me at 3 a.m.” 

“that sounds pretty bad,” daehwi admits. “have you tried talking to him?” 

“not really, i don’t want to stress him out,” jihoon sighs. “he has so much going on and i don’t want to add him worrying about me because i’m worried to the list.” 

“yeah but if he is really letting himself go, he could get sick,” jinyoung points out. “you should talk to him. i mean, he quit smoking because you asked him to and that’s not easy, i’m sure he will not take it badly if you tell him about your concerns.” 

“i agree,” daehwi says. 

jihoon ponders for a while, lets a silence between the three of them settle, and decides that his friends are right. 

he can just talk to seongwoo about it. 

  
  


contrary to his plans in the morning, jihoon ends up heading to seongwoo’s apartment after classes. he picks up take-out from their favourite chinese restaurant and then rushes to seongwoo’s apartment as to not get soaked in the rain that has started to fall upon the city, grey clouds filling the sky. 

when he comes through the door of seongwoo’s apartment, he yells “hello” but doesn’t receive a response. he wonders for a second if seongwoo is not home, but that thought is quickly disregarded when he sees seongwoo hunched over a stack of papers, legs jiggling as he reads and reads and reads with his earphones blasting music rather loudly. 

“hey,” jihoon waves his hand in front of seongwoo’s face and seongwoo flinches, eyes wide open in fear before he sees it’s jihoon and he takes the earbuds out. “how are you?” 

“well, scared shitless,” seongwoo replies with a small smile. 

jihoon would laugh in any other circumstances but all he can manage is a small, forced smile. seongwoo seems to notice immediately and he pulls jihoon into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist and nuzzling into him, breathing in his scent. 

“are you okay?” seongwoo swipes jihoon’s bangs away from his eyes. 

he doesn’t answer instantly. 

instead he cups seongwoo’s cheeks, taking a proper look at seongwoo. his cheeks are sunken in, his eye circles darker and bigger than yesterday and his skin a sickly white. jihoon’s heart clenches in his chest at the sight and he can’t stop himself from tearing up a bit. 

“i’m worried about you, hyung,” jihoon mumbles, making eye contact with seongwoo. 

“ey, you don’t need to worry about me, you know that,” seongwoo laughs, caressing jihoon’s back soothingly. 

“you’re not, though,” jihoon points at seongwoo’s face. “you don’t eat, you don’t sleep, you’re exhausted in every possible way but you won’t stop, you never take a break either. i want to help you, be there for you, but i can’t do that if you don’t let me.” 

jihoon had expected seongwoo to apologize playfully, to make one of his jokes and just try to make jihoon forget all about this issue with kisses and cuddles until jihoon has to corner him again to make him understand that this is wrong, that he can’t be living like this, but seongwoo doesn’t do that at all. 

no. 

he closes himself off, frowning at jihoon and putting distance between the both of them, making jihoon sit down on the couch next to him. 

“you don’t know what you’re talking about, i am fine,” seongwoo insists. 

“why is it so hard for you to accept that you’re not okay?” jihoon asks, anger slowly spreading in his body. “have you looked at yourself lately? if i didn’t know any better, i’d call you a ghost with how lifeless you look!” 

jihoon can see seongwoo slowly starting to get mad too but he doesn’t care. this is for seongwoo’s wellbeing. 

“i said i am fine,” seongwoo growls and jihoon has never seen him look so ready to snap since he met him. “drop it, okay? i am completely fine.” 

“when’s the last time you’ve eaten a proper meal, seongwoo?” he asks, when seongwoo hesitates to answer, jihoon just laughs bitterly. “exactly my point, you don’t even remember! this is not healthy, seongwoo, you have to relax and eat. i know this thing you are working on is important but - “ 

“what am i supposed to do then?” seongwoo cuts him off, voice icy. “do i just give up because i am hungry, tired and overworked? do i not hand it in and mess up everything i’ve worked on while attending college for almost three years? do you think i’m stupid and i don’t know that what i am doing is unhealthy?” 

he opens his mouth to retort but the way seongwoo glares at him makes him shut up. 

“even if i wanted to take a break, to sit down and catch up on all my sleep, i can’t, i don’t have enough time for that,” seongwoo says. “and the last thing i need is for you to barge in here and act as if you know what i’m going through, as if you know how hard this is for me.” 

“so, will you please leave me alone? go to your apartment and hang out with woojin, go play games and let me finish this, i can take care of myself,” seongwoo finishes. 

jihoon doesn’t know what he is feeling - a mix of disappointment, anger, guilt (even though he knows he has done nothing bad) and anxiety running through his body. he doesn’t want to leave, wants to talk this out with seongwoo but the way seongwoo stands up and leaves for the kitchen, taking his coffee with him with trembling hands as he whispers “goodbye jihoon” under his breath, tells him that this argument is over. 

and well, if seongwoo really thinks he can take care of himself, jihoon has nothing to do here. 

he leaves without saying goodbye, angrily stomping out of the house and closing the door with a slam, just so that he at least can make a point even without having to say anything, and then walks home being mad at himself for being too concerned, for being too affected by seongwoo being a fucking asshole. 

  
  
  


they don’t talk for two whole weeks. 

jihoon only knows seongwoo is alive from when he sees him rushing through campus, still looking as lifeless as when he last saw him, maybe even more, or when he runs into jaehwan and they talk a bit. 

it’d be an understatement to say that he misses seongwoo, that he misses their movie nights and random cuddles during lunch, that he misses teasing seongwoo and hearing seongwoo’s muffled singing from under the shower whenever he wakes up. 

but jihoon will be damned if he even thinks of apologizing - he knows everything he has done was for seongwoo and that this time it’s completely seongwoo’s fault. 

when taking a step back and thinking about the situation rationally, he knows how seongwoo is, how he doesn’t like to be cornered or asked questions when he is not prepared or comfortable. he knows he could have done it differently, maybe could have done it in a way in which seongwoo wouldn’t have felt attacked. 

that, however, still doesn’t change the fact that seongwoo completely overreacted. 

plus, jihoon feels hurt too. 

not only because seongwoo basically kicked him out of his own house but also because seongwoo seems not to trust him enough to tell him what he is feeling, because seongwoo bottles everything up and never confides in jihoon when jihoon has always been nothing but honest to him. 

  
  
  


the first time jihoon sees seongwoo after the fight, it’s not necessarily in the best condition. 

he receives a call from daniel in the middle of the night, panic obvious in the way he talks faster than normally and how his voice seems to break a little bit when he greets jihoon. 

“i am sorry to call you so suddenly,” daniel laments on the other line. “but i don’t really know who else to call! i would have called jaehwan or jisung but they are not picking up and i’m in a hurry!” 

“it’s okay,” jihoon answers, voice gruff from sleep. “what’s up?” 

“well, you see, i have to be at work in about an hour but seongwoo is sick, he has like this weird fever and he keeps having to throw up,” daniel rants, almost too fast for jihoon’s sleepy brain to process. “i had agreed with the rest to take turns to look for him but minhyun was called in for work at the convenience store too and i - i don’t know who else to ask.” 

“are you at seongwoo’s apartment?” jihoon asks, groaning while he gets up from his very comfortable bed in search for a trouser to wear. 

“yeah,” daniel answers. “i’m really sorry, jihoon, i know you guys are not on the best terms right now but - “ 

“don’t worry about it,” jihoon interrupts him. “i’m going to be there in twenty.” 

“thank you,” daniel mumbles. 

he sighs as he hurriedly gets dressed. of course, he knew this was going to happen, of course seongwoo was going to get fucking sick if he kept going at the tempo he was, what an idiot. 

  
  
  


as soon as jihoon is through the door, daniel is hugging him while thanking him over and over again for coming. 

jihoon waves him off and daniel brings him to where seongwoo is. 

when he sees seongwoo, jihoon can’t help but wince. he looks so small in his big bed, all curled up in his blankets while sleeping with a frown on his face, eyes tightly closed and a light sheen of sweat covering his skin. 

“he had a trip to the bathroom a few minutes ago so he should not have another one for at least a few hours,” daniel informs jihoon. “he has to take some meds in the morning but i’m sure jisung will be here for that so don’t worry too much about it. there’s nothing much to do besides having an eye on him and checking his fever every two hours to see if it has gone down.” 

“noted,” jihoon nods awkwardly. “since when has he been like this?” 

“not for long,” daniel assures him with a pat on his shoulder and a warm smile. “i guess all the emotional and physical stress from the past few weeks just crushed him after handing in his assignment yesterday and being able to relax.” 

“that’s good then,” he sighs, taking a few steps towards seongwoo and placing a hand on his forehead, almost whimpering at how hot it feels against his hand. 

“look,” jihoon turns towards daniel, who is nervously licking his lips. “i know seongwoo fucked up. he told me about it. seongwoo was planning to apologize to you when he was done with all the stress, you know? he didn’t get to though, obviously, but… please cut him some slack? he never had people worrying over him until he came to college and jisung took him under his wing, he doesn’t know how to deal with that, i know that from first-hand experience.” 

“anyway, what i am trying to say,” daniel smiles sheepishly. “please don’t think he doesn’t love you or trust you, he has a hard time opening up about what bothers him or things that are stressing him out - which is in no way an excuse but… yeah… he wants the people that mean much to him to be happy and he hates being the reason for them worrying which is why he lets the anger that he feels for himself out on them, which again, is not okay. just know that he really does love you a lot, okay?” 

jihoon feels a lump in his throat as he caresses seongwoo hair softly and nods at daniel. daniel leaves shortly after, thanking jihoon once again for helping him out. 

  


not much happens for a few minutes, jihoon just settles on the other side of seongwoo’s bed and keeps playing with seongwoo’s hair, thinking about everything daniel said. 

  
  
  


seongwoo wakes up after a few hours to jihoon still sitting beside him. 

jihoon almost laughs at how seongwoo’s first instinct when he sees him is to reel back and hold his hand to see if he is really there. 

“you’re here,” seongwoo mumbles. 

“yeah, daniel gave me a call, he had some things to do,” jihoon tries to smile. 

“oh,” seongwoo blinks. “if you - if you are uncomfortable, you don’t have to be here. i can take care of myself…” 

“can you stop saying that?” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “i know you can take care of yourself but i still want to be here with you and help you so just accept it, will you?” 

seongwoo doesn’t protest, whether it is because he thinks jihoon is right or because he is too weak, jihoon will never know. 

they stay silent for a while, jihoon’s hand still held by seongwoo, who stares at the wall right in front of him, not saying a word and only absentmindedly thumbing over the soft skin of jihoon’s hand. 

jihoon looks at seongwoo, like he always does. 

admires him and his beautiful face, his sharp jawline, his button nose and his thin lips. 

  


his chest constricts at the thought of how important seongwoo has become to him, of how much just being able to properly look at him again is making him feel more at ease than he has been in the past weeks. 

“i am sorry,” seongwoo apologizes, bringing jihoon’s hand to his lips and kissing it softly. “i am so sorry.” 

before jihoon really registers what’s going on, he is already lying next to seongwoo, wiping seongwoo’s tears away and shushing him. he destroys seongwoo’s blanket cocoon and scoots closer, wrapping his arms around seongwoo, kissing his temple. 

“i am so sorry,” seongwoo cries. “i missed you so much.” 

“i am not going to say it’s okay because it wasn’t but we can talk about this later, when you’re feeling better, okay?” jihoon smiles softly at seongwoo. “we will talk this out once you’re healthy and we will work through this so please don’t cry.” 

“we… we will be alright, right?” seongwoo asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he looks up to jihoon, fear and worry oh so evident in his eyes. 

“of course,” jihoon grins encouragingly, this time kissing seongwoo’s tears away. 

it takes a little bit but, in the end, they fall asleep together, holding onto each other tightly and whispering their first “i love you”s to each other. 

  
  
  


they talk, like they promised to, about everything a few days later when seongwoo is completely okay, when his skin has gone back to its usual colour and his dark circles are almost gone again. 

the both of them sit for hours on end on seongwoo’s couch, talking about deep-rooted emotions, insecurities and fears, about their defence mechanisms and how to deal with them. 

they apologize, laugh and cry all in the span of a few seconds and jihoon thinks it’s incredibly funny. 

as they cuddle and kiss each other on their couch, coming down of their emotional high while watching a movie, jihoon thinks that although talking about stuff like this is emotionally draining and makes him want to run away because of how much he has shown and opened up about himself to seongwoo, he is so utterly happy. 

so happy about having a person who knows him and his most inner thoughts and about being the one seongwoo decided to trust and open up to. 

▶▶ 

their relationship after that had become different, jihoon recalls, it had felt as if they had taken a big step to become a better couple, better partners and lovers for each other. 

seongwoo could talk about his troubles more easily, letting jihoon help and take half of the burden off of it whenever he could, and jihoon would be more patient, let seongwoo come to him. 

jihoon, whenever he was mad at seongwoo, or insecure about anything in their relationship, now had the trust to go to seongwoo and talk about it normally instead of just ignoring it, and seongwoo would always reassure him with words and take into consideration jihoon’s feelings. 

it had been good and it had stayed like that for most of jihoon’s third year in college until it all came crushing down because jihoon had forgotten a small detail seongwoo had mentioned during their talk. 

“jihoon.” seongwoo had called out to him while hugging him close, their conversation almost finished. “there’s one more thing i’d like to talk about, is that okay?” 

“yeah,” jihoon had looked up at him with a smile. 

“i know it shouldn’t be a big deal but… whenever i want to hold your hand, hug or kiss you in public, you seem so uncomfortable and i mean, it’s totally legit if you don’t want to show more pda than necessary but maybe… when i forget about it, can you not look like i just did a super disgusting or appalling thing?” seongwoo had worried on his lips afterwards, afraid of jihoon’s reaction. “it makes me feel like you’re ashamed of me or don’t want me… and it really hurts.” 

jihoon had apologized profusely, telling seongwoo that he had never felt that way, that it was a habit he had developed ever since his high school days whenever someone tried to do skinship with him in public. 

seongwoo had understood, promising that he’d try to make jihoon less uncomfortable when they’re out. 

jihoon had been overly aware of not pulling any faces or grimacing when seongwoo tried to hug him or hold his hands while on campus or on date night, and it had worked wonderfully. 

as the saying goes, however, old habits die hard and jihoon promptly fell back to his routine of side eyeing seongwoo or making disgusted faces whenever seongwoo tried to be close with him - he had, sadly, not noticed until seongwoo had snapped. 

◀◀ 

when jihoon comes out of the lecture hall, seongwoo is already waiting for him by leaning on the wall right in front of the door with two coffees in his hands, smiling at him and awkwardly trying to wave. 

jihoon snorts and bids goodbye to his friends, who wiggle their eyebrows at him. 

“are you trying to look cool or something?” he asks teasingly in lieu of a greeting and takes one of the coffees, sipping on the straw only to then close his eyes in pleasure when he notices that it’s his favourite drink. 

“i’m always cool, i don’t even have to try,” seongwoo smirks. 

seongwoo waits for him to take another sip before he leans in with puckered lips, asking for a peck. he, though, just grimaces and puts a hand on seongwoo’s mouth, a blush creeping on his face. 

seongwoo, instead of the laugh, pout or whine that jihoon was anticipating, frowns and takes a step back while biting his lips and avoiding eye contact with jihoon. 

“hey, are you okay?” jihoon inquires, taking a step closer again. 

“was it really necessary?” seongwoo sighs. “did you - did you really have to do that? jesus, i thought we had talked about this, about how it makes me feel when you act like i am doing something so utterly wrong because i ask for a bit of affection in public. i told you that if i ever made you uncomfortable to please tell me, i would have just leaned back and it’d be over.” 

jihoon gapes at seongwoo, who is obviously embarrassed as he scans the crowd of students around them, some of who are looking at them while giggling. 

he is about to apologize but seongwoo speaks up again. 

“whatever, let’s just go to eat lunch,” he smiles forcedly. 

jihoon stands frozen in his spot for a few moments, watching seongwoo start to walk without him, and then catches up to him, standing away from him with a much wider gap than usually. 

lunch, is to say the least, a tad bit uncomfortable. 

seongwoo tries to act like nothing's wrong but it’s pretty obvious that he is feeling glum and although jihoon tries to make him feel better by joking around and showing him cute seal videos, he knows seongwoo will appreciate, it doesn’t quite work. 

after lunch, seongwoo says goodbye to jihoon dryly, not even trying to give him a goodbye hug. 

▶▶ 

jihoon groans just thinking about it. 

nowadays it feels like their relationship has taken a whole step back again and it’s frustrating him more and more every day. 

on the surface, things are like always. 

seongwoo picks him up after class and they go to one of their apartments to hang out together, sometimes studying and sometimes watching movies or playing games. 

fridays still are date night. 

but… there’s something tense, something different. 

the casual touches jihoon got accustomed to - seongwoo’s hand on his waist, seongwoo leaning in to whisper in his ear, seongwoo being a brat and kissing his cheek whenever he felt happy - have disappeared. 

seongwoo, after the first day of being annoyed, had gotten back to his usual self and jihoon appreciates at least that, he can’t help but still sulk though. 

“leave some ice cream for me!” woojin hollers when he steps into their apartment. 

“you wish,” jihoon yells back and stuffs his mouth with a spoonful of ice cream. “you should buy your own if you want it so much!” 

woojin doesn’t listen to him and gets a spoon from the kitchen before he plops down on the couch and takes the pint from jihoon’s hands. jihoon whines at the loss of his dessert - or well, if he is honest, dinner - but does not make a move to take it away from woojin. after all, he is a good friend and he can share his eight dollar ice cream with him. 

  


“so, what’s the reason we are eating ice cream on this fine saturday night?” woojin raises his eyebrows. “shouldn’t you be out with your boyfriend, you know, being the disgustingly cute couple you always are?” 

  


“i should be, right?” jihoon frowns. “but seongwoo is hanging out with jaehwan today.” 

  


“sucks,” woojin says, his tone, however, shows how little interest he actually has and jihoon hits his arm, ripping the ice cream away from his hands. “okay, wow, you’re a whole asshole today. tell me what’s going on or i’ll throw the ice cream out the window.” 

  


“as if you’d do that, you’d probably just take it to the bathroom and eat it while hiding,” jihoon grumbles and glares at him. 

  


“maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not, we will never know,” woojin shrugs. “spill.” 

  


for a moment jihoon is not sure if he should. 

  


he knows woojin is his best friend and that his advice will probably be helpful but just the thought of admitting to woojin that he had fucked up is kind of making him not want to. 

  


when he looks at woojin, who is peering at him with concern, jihoon gives up. 

  


“i think i screwed up,” jihoon admits. 

  


saying it out loud does not relief him at all, like he had hoped it would, it makes him feel worse because it feels a little bit realer now, like seongwoo and him actually have a problem to overcome. 

  


“you think?” woojin mocks him. “you have definitely fucked up, then.” 

  


“oh wow, i really appreciate your trust in me,” jihoon scoffs. “whatever, i won’t tell you, forget i even mentioned it.” 

  


“i am sorry, i am sorry,” woojin immediately answers and wraps his arm around jihoon’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “for real now, i won’t judge you or anything, so please tell me.” 

  


“well, you see, after class seongwoo came to pick me up and we were supposed to have lunch, he wanted to give me a kiss but i rejected him by blocking his mouth with my hand and i also might or might not have pulled a grimace,” jihoon side-eyes woojin for a reaction but he doesn’t get much beside a very loud sigh. 

  


“way to go buddy,” woojin says. “he probably was embarrassed too, there are always many people looking at you guys on campus.” 

  


“kind of, yeah,” he agrees. 

  


“it’s totally valid if you don’t want to kiss him or have physical contact in public, i’m sure seongwoo has told you that, too, but that must have hurt his feelings and his pride quite a bit,” woojin says. “did you apologize?” 

  


“i was planning to but before i could he started to pretend nothing happened and well, i couldn’t get myself to apologize after that,” jihoon worries on his lip. 

  


“is he acting different towards you now?” 

  


“not really,” jihoon replies. “he still treats me the same, i guess. seongwoo has just stopped touching me whenever we are out and i… am not really happy about that.” 

  


“how so? shouldn’t it relieve you?” woojin cocks an eyebrow at him. 

  


“okay, look, the thing is, i don’t hate pda, i don’t dislike it either, it just makes me shy, you know?” jihoon explains, scraping the last bits of ice cream onto his spoon. “there are so many eyes on us on campus, or old people looking at us disapprovingly as we walk, and i get self-conscious easily. so sometimes i just pull away without thinking. that doesn’t mean i don’t like him doing it or that i am ashamed of him.” 

  


“that actually makes a lot of sense,” woojin nods understandingly. “but seongwoo is no fortune teller who can see the future or how you feel jihoon, for him to understand you have to tell him.” 

  


“i know, it’s so hard though,” jihoon pouts. 

  


“it might be hard but it will be worth it in the end, won’t it?” woojin questions and, like ever so often, he is very right. “look, next time you are on campus just take his face, kiss him square on the lips and explain. case solved!” 

  


“kiss him just like that?” jihoon sputters, blushing just at the thought. 

  


“yeah, just go, grab his face and bam, kiss him,” woojin reaffirms excitedly. 

  


“ey, that wouldn’t work, would it?” jihoon frowns. “that would never… okay, yeah, that might actually work.” 

  


“i know, i’m a genius after all,” woojin smirks and steals the ice cream from jihoon’s spoon before running away while laughing maniacally. “also make sure not to use too much tongue since you’ll be in public and all!” 

  


“oh, shut up asshole!” jihoon retorts, hiding his blushing face in his hands. 

  
  
  
  


nothing actually happens until wednesday of the next week though. 

  


jihoon is too busy mentally preparing himself to overcome his embarrassment that will surely come with kissing on campus. he also overthinks a lot, asks himself if it will really fix everything, if seongwoo will really appreciate his efforts. 

  


he tries to do it a few times, almost reaches out for seongwoo during lunch to do it but then is overcome with too much doubt to actually pull it off. 

  


which is why, it’s so interesting to jihoon that the kiss happens so naturally. 

  


jihoon is walking around their university’s main yard when he spots seongwoo sitting on the edge of the fountain, legs spread as he looks at the sky with a small smile, sketchbook in hand and earbuds in his ears. 

  


he knows seongwoo is doodling absentmindedly and it’s kind of really cute. 

  


his feet almost automatically take him to seongwoo. the closer he goes to him, the happier he feels and he is so suddenly overcome with a wave of fondness when seongwoo cutely giggles at whatever he is drawing. 

  


it doesn’t take long for jihoon to be in front of seongwoo and he settles himself between seongwoo’s legs. 

  


seongwoo looks at him with wide, surprised eyes and jihoon just smiles fondly, hands coming up to cup seongwoo’s cheeks, which he caresses softly with his thumb, internally admiring the softness of the skin. 

  


jihoon leans in and softly and quickly pecks seongwoo’s lips, laughing when seongwoo makes a startled sound when he goes in for another kiss. 

  


this time seongwoo reacts, his initial shock forgotten, as he holds onto jihoon’s waist and pulls him closer. jihoon kisses seongwoo like he has all the time of the world, like they are doing this in the comfort of their own home, like he needs seongwoo to understand how much jihoon loves him. 

  


“what was that?” seongwoo pants, pupils blown and a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks as he looks at jihoon, stunnned. 

  


“a kiss, obviously,” jihoon teases him, kissing him again. “why? did you not like it?” 

  


“of - of course i did, i just didn’t expect it, is all,” seongwoo explains. “i thought you were uncomfortable with doing stuff like this.” 

  


“i am not.. i am not per say uncomfortable,” jihoon looks down, taking seongwoo’s hands in his. “it’s really difficult to explain to be honest but anyway, i did this to make you understand that i love you and that i am sorry for what i did the other day.” 

  


“you didn’t have to do this,” seongwoo says softly, catching jihoon’s eyes. “the only thing i want is for you to feel good and happy and even if i was hurt, you don’t have to force yourself to do things like these, i’ll love you regardless of whether we go overboard with the pda or don’t have any.” 

  


“i know, i know,” jihoon smiles. “and i appreciate that but like i said i’m not umcomfortable, i just easily get embarrassed and it’s like… a defence mechanism to pull away or do stuff like that.” 

  


“okay,” seongwoo nods understandingly. 

  


“i don’t want you to stop touching me, seongwoo, i like it when you hold me close while strolling around, i like it when you fluster me with cheek kisses and i love to hold your hand,” jihoon admits, his cheeks now a matching pink with seongwoo’s. “i like kissing you in public, too, it’s just that sometimes i get overwhelmed and fall into my habit of rejecting it.” 

  


“that’s okay,” seongwoo smiles, now being the one cupping jihoon’s cheeks. “thank you for telling me.” 

  


“you’re welcome,” jihoon mumbles and pecks seongwoo again. “i love you.” 

  


“i love you, too.” 

  


both him and seongwoo smile into their next kiss. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> to the prompter: 
> 
> this... this turned out into a monster, it is longer than i expected and somehow revolves around ongwink's relationship dynamics but i still hope you like it and that i fulfilled the prompt just the way you wanted it to be! 
> 
> thank you at a for reading it through and pointing out things i can do better and for holding my hand during all my break downs, without you, this would be a complete mess. 
> 
> to all the readers, thank you so much for reaching the end of this fic. it's the first fic i will ever be posting for anyone to read, so any kind of feedback or comments would be appreciated, kudos too ofc!


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